Photographed by Essence
There is a point in a child’s life when they feel annoyance having to deal with the discipline or actions of a father. Sometimes as children we think they fail at their duty. As we become older or as a parent we do feel thankful for having being blessed with a gift of a father. I recalled moments when my father did not meet my expectations and I let him feel my keen displeasure. Looking back at his level of participation in my life, I think that it could have been more, but it was adequate enough. My grandmother was a dominant force in my life along with my grandfather and uncles both whom participated in raising me and they were good men.
My father was not a constant or consistent force in my life in my earlier years but I am truly grateful for my prized moments then even if I did not know it then. Yet I am grateful for living with him during my teen years. There was much that he taught me. I can still recall our conversation at the beach one Saturday afternoon about the ‘birds and the bees.’ I still cringe when I remember him trying to bond with his then twelve year old daughter. He assisted with my preparation of Common Entrance Examination (CXC) O’ Levels to make that transition into adulthood. He was there to guide me in the advice on the selection of friends. He facilitated my independence of living on my own before I went off to college so I can be more accountable when I am away from home and the community that raised me and he did a lot more as well.
One day he asked, “Did the things I did not do prevent you from achieving what you wanted.” He meant did those things he did not do still allow me to succeed in life. I would have to say yes. This brings to mind Barack Obama’s “Dreams From My Father” in his 1995 memoir; with the absence of his father he advanced because he was “driven by ambition, a hunger for control.” My husband said from time to time that he is thankful for my father because he did in many ways shape me into who or what I am today. Those trying times made me into the beautiful, independent, accountable, nurturing young lady and loving mother that I am today. I hope that when you too look back on your life, you too you are thankful for knowing your father.
